Saturday, September 09, 2006
Jerry Seinfeld is Rolling Over in His Grave
Or he would be if he were dead. I am currently in New York City on business (I love New York! I've been waiting for a conference here forever) and tonight I went with a few coworkers to Monty Python's Spamalot. The play itself was awesome. There was a lot of little things they tossed in above and beyond the Holy Grail movie that made it highly enjoyable.
Unfortunately, I also had The Lady sitting behind me. You know who this person is. They're the one in the theatre who has to spend the entire time pointing out the blindingly obvious to anyone who cares to listen. She also ends up pointing it out to everyone else who doesn't want to listen, but there's no way around that when you're not whispering. Because it's not immediately apparent exactly how obvious it is, here's an example:
(Scene where Sir Robin runs away from the three headed knight [it was the black knight in the play, probably because of the logistical complexity of having a 3 headed knight appear on Broadway] and loses control of his bowels as a result)
Woman: He's got the diarrhea.
(Next scene, where Sir Robin runs into King Arthur and the Knights who say Nee, still looking like he's got something in his pants)
Woman: He's still got diarrhea.
Thank you for that enlightening commentary. I thought that's what I saw, but you know how the British are. It may not have been what I saw, because it was translated from the original Martian. She'd also point out what she felt were allusions to other plays.
(King Arthur sings a song)
Woman: That's "Mr. Cellophane" (from Chicago)
Woman: Yeah, that's "Mr. Cellophane."
Would repeating it make it any more true? Perhaps it would make it somewhat less annoying as well? Sorry, wrong on both counts.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
The Crocodile Hunted
Before I go being all insensitive, I do feel bad for his family, however, you cannot deny the inherent humor in the Crocodile Hunter being killed by a stingray. It's like having Albert Einstein be mauled by an atom or, for that matter, Siegfried being mauled by his tiger.
Here you have someone who has done just about every stupid thing you can with a dangerous animal, including dangling your child over one, and nothing ever happened. You even have him, as my Australian friend said (which is most likely apocryphal) going out into the Outback with Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious and returning later with only Paul Hogan. He's sold himself so out that some Australians won't recognize him as an Australian. Anyway, he's done all these dangerous things, but then he's killed by a stingray? That's like Evil Kinevil being killed while he's in an auto shop and having a motorcycle fall on him. Of all the ways to die, I didn't expect it to be that. Perhaps to have his head bit off by a crocodile or being bitten in half by a shark, but not stung to death by a stingray.
Here you have someone who has done just about every stupid thing you can with a dangerous animal, including dangling your child over one, and nothing ever happened. You even have him, as my Australian friend said (which is most likely apocryphal) going out into the Outback with Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious and returning later with only Paul Hogan. He's sold himself so out that some Australians won't recognize him as an Australian. Anyway, he's done all these dangerous things, but then he's killed by a stingray? That's like Evil Kinevil being killed while he's in an auto shop and having a motorcycle fall on him. Of all the ways to die, I didn't expect it to be that. Perhaps to have his head bit off by a crocodile or being bitten in half by a shark, but not stung to death by a stingray.
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