Satan Turns Sights from Dell Schanze, Aims For John Jacob

Apparently the hosts of Heaven and Hell care more about the Third Congressional District than they do about Totally Awesome Computers and the everlasting souls of the people of the world combined, because Satan is ruining John Jacob's campaign. From the Salt Lake Tribune article:

"There's another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C.," Jacob said. "It's the devil is what it is. I don't want you to print that, but it feels like that's what it is." Jacob said Thursday that since he decided to run for Congress against Rep. Chris Cannon, Satan has bollixed his business deals, preventing him from putting as much money into the race as he had hoped.

Honestly, what is he implying here? If Satan is ruining John's business deals, that must mean that Chris Cannon is Satan's candidate, right? Of course, that also means that Jacob is God's candidate. Among other things, that means that Jacob might be the most conceited candidate since General George McClellan. Why would Satan single him out? Is it because Satan wants the Mexicans to overrun the United States? According to LDS theology Mexico is also part of that same promised land - moving them from one part of the promised land to another hardly seems like a Satanic plot. Usually Lucifer tends to be smarter than that. It's this kind of thinking that turns the religious right (who, let's be honest, aren't the staunchest backers of Jacob, even though he's invoking more code words and phrases than Robert Langdon) from a sensible group of people into the laughingstocks of the Elitists on the Coasts.
Of course, John Jacob isn't thinking of the other possible option along this same line of thinking. What if God is on Chris Cannon's side? If that's the case, perhaps He is smiting Jacob for discriminating against Mexicans and turning from his actual beliefs (remember, before Merrill Cook lost in convention, Jacob did believe that there wasn't an immigration problem and that the Anchor Baby interpretation of the constitution was appropriate and accurate) to those of the "Close America First" groups like Team America and the Minutemen. Let's face it, Jacob is an opportunist, just like he accused Tom Tancredo of being. If Tancredo's beliefs and PAC (he's the power behind Team America, along with Bay Buchanan) make him an opportunist, tuning your campaign message to get their money supporting you in Utah makes you doubly so.
Of course there's always the third and most likely option: you're focusing on this race, and that's causing your business to suffer. Therefore you're losing money that you could put in your race, causing you to spend more time on it and letting the vicious cycle continue.