Saturday, March 10, 2007

I Don't Wanna See A Knob At Night

There's two types of people in this world. People who are discreet about things, and those who flaunt their junk about for all the world to see. Of course, in general you don't see that kind of nakidity on a day to day basis, unless you live in a nudist colony. It's most noticable in gym locker rooms. I look back at my days in high school and nobody ever got any degree of naked. In the Gold's Gym locker room, on the other hand, you have people who have no business ever being without clothing (and I mean even in the shower) who walk about as though they are some sort of adonis. The following story is the most disturbing example that I've come across in all my years of going to the gym. It has scarred me in a deep and profound way for the rest of my life.
So I went in to the bathroom area to talk to a man about a horse and there was this guy, his rod and tackle out for all the world to see, blow drying his hair under the hand dryer. I could see the drying the hair bit, you know, you want to have dry hair and all that, but not the naked bit. Although, in his hand he did have a hair dryer as well. The only thing that I can think of is that the guy used the hand dryer for his hair and the hair dryer for his knob. I don't know why you'd need to blow dry your knob, but that's the only reason I can see it. Add that the guy didn't even have shoes on, so you know he was standing in urine or something like that, and it was a scene that I won't soon forget, as hard as I may try.

6 comments:

Derek said...

I've gotta say, yours is an entirely American reaction. Who cares about a man's junk being out there, as long as it's not in an elementary school, church (though Deseret Gym in its heyday was quite swinging), or behind a Mervyn's clothes rack.

I go to the hot springs all the time here in Jahpahn, and it just doesn't matter. If you need me to email pictures to help you out of your funny repression, I also happen to be an adonis, as you may know.

Seriously, who cares? It's part of your body. It's a foot, or a nose. The tittering homophobia is what drives people to dark alleys and unseemly rooms.

Yes, I stand in spirit next to the man with the dryer, though with spirit sandals on.

Beau Sorensen said...

Ah Derek. I wanted to use your adonis photo, but didn't have it on my laptop when I posted. I would say that there are a lot of American men (myself included) who believe there are 2 kinds of naked. Funny naked (your famed naked breakfasts, strip pool, etc), and not funny naked, the kind that is either eye-gougingly unpleasant to look like (and I've seen my share of that) or that will sneak up on you and get you gay, or at least attempt to do so. Sure it doesn't make sense, because the latter wouldn't happen (the former does and far too often - it's just not pleasant to look at, like people who don't dress apropriately), but it sounds good.

themickel said...

I'm scared to click on your hyperlink for "junk". I'm just not sure what will pop up. Same goes for "rod and tackle", "nudist colony", and "knob".

Though I will say I was dissapointed to click on "adonis" and NOT see Derek. Naked. Eating Mugi.

Beau Sorensen said...

It's all safe for work Logan, so worriest thou not.

Scott Roche said...

In my brief gym going days I spied a gent in what was probably his fifties that had both nipples and his "junk" pierced. Not that I was looking. I just DID NOT need to see that.

Derek said...

I especially love references to a Chinese Junk. I have only seen Japanese junk, mostly.