Thursday, March 13, 2008

Forro and Sorro Fisk Doug Warren

Utah Valley Magazine recently listed its "Fab 50" people in Utah Valley honoring those with "talent, character, and a sense of community." While the writer did an excellent job with each individual's excerpt, Sorro and I were left questioning at least one of the Utah Valley's "Fab 50".

Douglas Warren, No. 37 in the mag, is an infamous name 'round our office. A few years ago we had the "pleasure" of Doug’s “consulting knowledge". Hours of incomprehensible blather and countless dubious claims left Sorro and I of the opinion that a few minutes with Doug Warren is congruent to 15 years in Hell. (For a refresher course on what he taught us during his time at our company, see this post right here - and I wish I was exaggerating)

In any case the Utah Valley article brought Doug Warren back up on radar prompting a visit to his website The website brought Sorro and I to tears of laughter and the realization that the "about us" section simply begged to be "fisked". Following is the "about us" section in its entirety and our accompanying comments.

In September 1951, I decided to go to war. My brother and a number of friends had enlisted and were already in the Korean War. They were fifteen or sixteen and had lied about their ages to join the 14 th Division that had been called up at the beginning of the Korean War. Aviation had been of interest to me, so I chose the Air Force and in September 1952, I arrived at Kaitue , Korea where I became the crew chief of a fighter-bomber for the commanding officer of our squadron. I had just turned eighteen.

Sorro: All crew chiefs are crew chiefs for the C.O. of a squadron. Also, I couldn't find any mention of Kaitue in Korea. Perhaps it's spelled wrong?

I came from a long line of business people who provided me the experiences of apprenticing with CEOs from the age of twelve. In this way they were encouraging me to pursue a career in business. However, while in the war I felt that politics was the way to make the greatest contribution. I decided that politics was what got us into wars and that it was also the way to get us out of them.

Forro: That is quite possibly the greatest summation of U.S. Foreign Policy that I have ever read...I believe President Clinton had a similar saying that went something like "politics is what gets me in and out."

This thinking led to taking correspondence courses in political science while still in Korea and upon my return, I secured a degree in political science and history and then pursued graduate work in law. It also led to involvement in political research and campaigning. In 1955 upon being released form the service I immediately joined Richard Nixon in his efforts to become Vice President under Eisenhower.

Forro: I'm sure Nixon appreciated the help considering he was elected into office with Eisenhower in 1952.

Sorro: I love this. I'm not sure what he did for Nixon, but I think he's talking about working on some level or another on the Eisenhower re-election campaign. Nixon was Veep at the time, so I think Nixon would be working on it too, as opposed to working on his VP campaign, as he wasn't being challenged by anyone.

My goal was to secure political appointments that would eventually lead to President of the Word Bank.

Forro: Ah yes, the all powerful "Word Bank". I think I read about that institution in The Phantom Tollbooth.

At that time I thought this position provided the greatest opportunity to help developing nations like Korea .

Forro: Supplying those nations with much needed words.

Sorro: I love that comment.

After finishing my college education and having held many positions in the Republican,

Forro: See, I told you it begged to be blogged.

I became very involved in Nixon's campaign for president. As part of this involvement I ran for the U.S. House of Representatives. During this period a very remarkable man became my research assistant. He spoke eleven languages and could read over twenty-one and was very accomplished researcher and historian. At that time he was a translator for the Pentagon. Upon telling him my concerns with world problems and my plan of action, he decided to help me. Nixon won the Republican primary nomination, as did I, and we were well involved in the general elections.

Forro: I've looked everywhere on the internet for any mention of Douglas Warren in politics, and I can't find anything...he does claim to be in the "who's who in politics" however.

Sorro: The question I have is what level he was involved on. Was it local, state, or national? I guess I could say that I worked on George W Bush's campaign, after all I slapped a bumper sticker on my car. As far as linking his Congressional run to Nixon, I tend to think that's not really the case. He ran because he was running, not because Tricky Dick said, "Doug, we need you here on the front lines in Congress."

As the campaign continued so did the research. It wasn't long before we found out what most people realize today. The special interest groups dominate the functions of government, causing our political system to function without conscience. The way we decided to prevent this from continuing was for congressman (who controlled the budget) to submit all major approbation bills to their constituents for a vote. This led to producing a campaign button, based on this idea, which simply stated, "I count". Powerful special interest groups forged an effort to defeat me. That along with the fact that there were 2 to1 registered Democrats in my District brought about my defeat. Nevertheless, Nixon won and I was well on my way to accepting the political appointments I had sought. Our research on solving world problems continued. My research assistant and I formed a pact. He would continue to do research on how to help cure world problems and I would try to implement whatever we discovered. By the time I was to receive the political appointment I was seeking, and the press conference was called where I was to announce my future plans much was discovered. As I prepared for the conference I looked at the world more objectively than I had ever done before. I could not help but see that the thing that doing good was simply teaching how to improve quality. What Japan was accomplishing in solving their economic problems by installing Total Quality Management (TQM) was dwarfing everything else and bringing about positive changes. Nobody was doing more good than those Americans who were installing TQM in Japanese companies.

Forro: "Installing TQM" sounds like some type of software or subtitle of a bad 80's porn flick.

Sorro: I like how he blames his defeat on Special Interests instead of on the fact that he ran as a Republican in a very Democratic district. It's like blaming Poland for starting World War II. If they didn't resist, Germany wouldn't have kept going, despite the millions of Germans ready to roll over Europe. Mentioning Nixon's win here leads me to believe that we've skipped the 1960s here and are now in 1968...what happened during that time since we're getting an unabridged biography?

They were turning a nation that had very little natural resources, most of their male population killed off, atomic bombs dropped on two of their major industrial cities, despised by the western world, and being known for their poor quality into one of the leading economic powers and political forces in the world. Even more startling was the sociological benefits that were occurring. They were producing the foremost educational system, the lowest divorce rate along with the lowest drug abuse and crime rate. All due in large part some determined and highly committed quality consultants.

Sorro: I would actually credit the Japanese with these successes, not the consultants. The revitalization of Japan after World War II is one of the great successes of the modern world, but it certainly wasn't brought about by consultants. Give some credit to Douglas MacArthur and SCAMP for what they did, some credit to the Japanese, and then after those two groups did the heavy lifting, Demming came in and helped Toyota and the rest. Also, I might mention that the reason the Japanese education system, divorce rate, and drug abuse/crime rates are as they are is because of the culture of Japan. The saying I heard more often than anything else there was "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down." That is a conformist society and it shows in all those statistics.

It was 1969 When I entered the lobby of the hotel where my press conference was being held I was directed to a seating area where I met J.C. Penny. He was also awaiting a press conference. There I asked for his advice as to how to best improve the world and he told me that the best way to improve the world was to improve business. So I took his advice and instead of accepting a position, I told those attending that my course of action was to pursue a career as a Quality Consultant. I have been pursuing that career ever since. I first joined a quality development firm that installed improvement programs. Then I formed my own firm that provided business development consulting and developmental research and expanded my operations to other major cities. That was followed by a decision to move near a major university where I could concentrate my time on discovering how the human mind works to produce improvements. I rightly thought if this could be discovered we could greatly accelerate our improvements. Much time has past since I began this pursuit, and it cost me much of my resources. Yet, I began this endeavor with the understanding that this could be the case and tried to prepare for it by putting together a real estate development, which I then sold to support my family of five children. However, right in the middle of my research, documentation, and writing, the party I sold my real estate interest to had a misfortune and went bankrupt forcing them to return my interest. Because they had placed a substantial mortgage on the property a great deal of reorganization followed where I was not able to free my interest to sell it. So, my wife and I were forced to suffer through it while I finished my research. Fortunately, I was able to compile enough information to finally discover how the mind basically works to produce improvements.

Sorro: Where's Steven Pinker when you need him? We have to get these two together.

At that point I was in deep financial sleights. I had to mortgage my home twice to keep going through the process of conducting case studies, getting my findings published in the form of a textbook, creating a streamlined TQM system for conveying my discoveries to people through organizations, and establishing a quality
institute to instruct, certify, and support leadership coaches in the implementation of this brand new quality initiative. The institute was incorporated as MOT-TQM, which stands for Mind Over Time-Total Quality Management. But, shortly after recruiting our first coaching candidates one of them pointed out that it was too long of an acronym and so we change it to simply MTI. MTI has the vision of establishing 1,500 Certified MTI Coaches throughout the United States and several thousand throughout the world. This position we feel is one that provides the most opportunity for bring about highly significant improvements and gaining great appreciation and recognition while providing a substantial income, personal and professional freedom, as well as growth. I am now turning sixty-nine years old. This has been a long and sometimes very difficult journey. Yet, it has been a good one, a successful one. Because I have discovered I have accomplished more in the past five years in every aspect of my life than I did in the previous sixty-three years.

Forro: 5+63, Leaving only one year not accounted for...

Sorro: This organization also provides the most opportunity for bring about changes in the English language with regard to that annoying suffix "-ing."

I expect to accomplish more in the next year than I did in the last five years. Those of you who become involved in MOT-TQM can look forward to that same achievement if not greater. Coaching MOT-TQM involves teaching highly important principles that not only produce greater productivity and quality but a higher sense of morality. They also teach principles that provide happiness.

Forro: Apparently he opted to switch back from MTI to the MOT-TQM acronym.

Sorro: Forro pointed out to me that he's pretty sure that our own A-Rod is the man who came up with the MTI acronym, as he was using MOT-TQM when we had to listen to his alternate history.

After thirty-six years of pursuing this career I have now written a number of related books and programs. It was only upon gaining the understanding that resulted from this research actually existed that I was able to write coherently about many important subjects.

Forro: I started to read his Mind Over Time book, and found it to be as about as coherent and grammatically correct as his web site. I made it a record 2 chapters in, beating Sorro who gave up around page 5. In later years I will probably regret the brain cells I killed trying to muscle through the book.

This led to writing a number of books. I feel three have significant importance. One on how the human mind works to produce quality, provide happiness, and fulfill our five hopes of being respected, joyful, loved, wise, and free. I titled it Mind Over Time and consider it of the highest importance, even imperative reading for everyone.

Forro: He writes about Mind Over Time as though it should be considered for canonization. Personally I found it about as important and imperative as reading the Mary Worth cartoon, although in fairness I only read a couple chapters.

Sorro: Is this the way that The Bible was presented to people after the Nicene Council? Constantine himself wouldn't praise it any more effusely than Warren is praising MOT.

It contains information that will greatly improve all aspects of our lives and will further peace throughout the world with every reader. I also wrote a history of why we need to be free and how we gained the freedom we enjoy. It is titled The Roots of the Constitution . The reading of this book can give the reader a wonderful perspective of what freedom is all about and the price we have paid for it and what we each can do to increase it. The third book is a historical romance novel. It presents many wonderful ideas and principles; in the context of what I believe is a truly beautiful story. It also provides a comparative history of the culture of northern Europe and native America .

Forro: Wait, I think I saw this Disney movie, Pocahontos, which sucked by the way.

Sorro: This is the first time I have ever seen a historical romance novel be considered on the same level as a Peter Drucker book or one of the great histories of the nation.

It uplifts our visions of what is possible. This novel takes place in the years around 1790's right after the signing of the Constitution of the United States of American.

Forro: Ok, I guess I was thinking something different. Pocahontos lived long prior to the forming of our great nation of "American".

Sorro: I love living in North American. God Bless the United States of American!

It presents an overall image of our great capabilities and moves us toward becoming our best selves. I have also written the lyrics and music of songs that go with the novel, which is titled Winds of Freedom . The sheet music for these songs, along with a CD, will be available through this website in the future. I believe these songs bring to it a great dimension. They give to the reader and listener a perspective and feeling that cannot be conveyed without relevant lyrics and music. A musical stage production of the novel is also underway as is a screenplay.

Forro: I would have thought that the "about us", which is a misnomer in itself, would have focused on persuading prospective clients rather than lengthy self-aggrandizing prose.

My professional life today is mostly focused on presenting. I am also continuing my research that is now greatly aided by MTI and its Coaches and their clients who provide a great deal of knowledge, experience, and in-depth information. My major topic is, of course, how the mind works to produce improvements, gain happiness, fulfill our primary hopes, build faith and remove fear so our ability to increase our awareness continues to grow. Beyond my speaking engagements and research, I am also involved in establishing national and local quality initiatives that apply MOT-TQM to entire communities and nations. And, I am writing a book on that subject and working on the two other history books one going back to 449 AD which was the beginning of England and the other going back to about 50 AD which was the time the people of northern Europe became known as Enges. If you have read this background, you may be about to read one of my books. My wish is that whichever one it is that it will open your mind to greater conceptions.

Sorro: I'm assuming these immaculate conceptions my mind will be opened to are the same tripe that he gave us when he "consulted" with us. Suffice it to say that Enges is a province in Switzerland, England as is currently known started in 1066 with William the Conqueror, and you will find neither of these books in any book store.

As it does I encourage you to commit to their realization regardless of whether you believe they are possible. Be assured that the tremendous capacities you have for improvement will be immediately go to work for you to make those visions real. As this takes place let each such improvement receive your gratitude. Thereby you will ever increase your happiness. Then let the hopes that this happiness nourishes give you the faith that will overcome all obstacles on your path to realizing all of your finest thoughts. By doing this you will be consistently motivate to better yourself and make the contributions you are capable of making in your quest to improve all that you will. One thing I know. We are all far more capable than we think. Even our finest visions of our capability fall short of just how much we can do to make our own lives and the lives of others more productive and happier . I believe as well that we can fully employ our present capability, even that we can add to it. Such greater dimensions are seen by many as impossible. Nevertheless, greater things than we have yet imagined are in the realm of reality for all of us. In Winds of Freedom , a novel I wrote I examine just a few of these. There is one thing that you can always count on, and that is that there always remains knew levels of awareness with respect to all things. If that were not so we would run out of improvements eliminating the possibility of happiness Upon forming the Mind Over time Institute I wrote the following mission statement, vision, and creed to clarify my commitments to its success. My commitment to you is that I will remain committed to these and support those that help in this effort in any way I can.

Forro: Doug, come on mate, you've got to pull your stuff together...

Sorro: Where is this mission statement? It just kind of trailed off here...


themickel said...

I was about to make a snarky comment on this guy's grammar and disjointed way of communication, but first wanted to make sure he hadn't suffered from a stroke or something before he wrote this. Because it's not cool to make fun of someone who's had a stroke.

And might I just add: Along with college professor, business consultant seems like one of the easiest jobs to have in that you actually get paid to be a bloviating windbag. You don't even have to know what you're talking about--just get up there and pontificate for $500 an hour.

Sorro said...

Let me assure you, he hasn't had a stroke (as of when he was our consultant, and his book had the same bad grammar and he was just as disjointed). Take a look at the post from the day he "consulted" with us - that alternate history of the world was what made him dead to me in the first place. As far as the $500/hour - he actually got paid about $1000/hour by us, and yes, we are a bunch of idiots.

Anonymous said...

After listening to Mr. Warren for 2 1/2 hours last night, I was not only bored, but also suspicious. I did a little research, because I wanted to know if this guy was for real. I came upon your blog, and other findings. Warren told me he ran the mile in under 4 minutes at age 59. I found that he ran a 5k in 21:36. He said he ran for congress. He made a bumper sticker, "I'm Backing America, Douglas S. Warren for Congress".

I'm still not sure about the book. Did you actually read his book, or was it an e-book? I can't seem to find his paperback copy, it is either out of print or temporarily out of stock. I think there is something fishy about his book, which has supposedly printed "more copies than Harry Potter."

Overall, when he couldn't work his laptop, I really started to wonder. I almost fell asleep with his ramblings. I'm sure he will want to sign me up for his "professional" mentoring, but it's a "no" for me.

Sorro said...

Anonymous, I have read parts of his book and listened to him more than I care to. Suffice it to say, at $50 a copy, his book is likely out of print in this environment. It may have printed more copies than Harry Potter, although that only works if you count words in his book vs. crates of books of Harry Potter.