Friday, March 03, 2006

AK-47 Can Tag an F-18

Andrei Kirilenko became the most admired envied man in the world this week, and not just because he specializes in 5x5s. In ESPN Magazine his wife said that he gets one freebie a year. This isn't like one free chicken or bowl of borscht. This is one free night a year with a lady of Andrei's choosing. She does this because she doesn't want him to think that the other ladies are pizza and so he'll start pigging out on pizza.
My question is if this is actually something that can last. While from a personal standpoint I'm not one for infidelity, even if it's out in the open and there are terms and conditions set, can this really work? So far AK hasn't done anything with this newfound freedom, so it's all well and good for his wife to say that it's not a big deal, but what would happen if he took advantage of her offer? Sure, men will be men, and basketball players will be basketball players, but just because that's the case and because his wife acknowledges it, will she be any less jealous if Andrei comes back from a road trip to Miami with a confession? I imagine that the conversation would be something like this (provide your own Russian accents):
Wife: So, how was Miami?
AK: It was good. We played basketball and then afterwards there was this smoking hot chick who had come back from the beach. She was falling all over me, and one thing lead to another, and I used your present for the year.
Wife: You used your present! How dare you!
AK: said...
Wife: No buts! What I meant was the only other woman you could sleep with had to be as attractive as an old babushka. You think I want you sleeping with people who are as good as/better looking than I am?!
AK: ...
Wife: Get out! Oh, and I'm taking your salary with me.

I can see the reasoning, but it's a bit different between a child and an adult. While she's okay with her leniency as long as it's never happened, she'll be regretful once it does, especially since she said she doesn't need the same courtesy. This is AK's carte blanche and if he uses it, it'll become his Stalingrad too.

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