10:59 AM – The meeting hasn’t started yet. In fact, I’m the only one here in the board room, despite the 11 AM start time. The Exec who decided that we should postpone and slim down the meeting because people will be gone and because he had a “church function” hasn’t even shown his head yet, as is his tradition of being late no matter when we meet and wasting everyone’s time. For the purposes of this meeting, and to protect Forro and I, everyone’s names will be those of current New York Yankees starters. Our lineup for today:
Owner/CEO: Derek Jeter
EVP 1: Alex Rodriguez
EVP 2 (who will not be here today): Jorge Posada
Director 1: Robinson Cano
Director 2: Andy Phillips
Director 3: Forro
Director 4: Sorro
Sub-director 1: Hideki Matsui
Sub-director 2: Melky Cabrera
I wouldn’t have been able to use a baseball lineup in the past, in part because we had way too many people at this level and also in part because of the special guests that A-Rod would invite (who were worthless in their entirety). Now that the stage is set, let’s move on with the diary.
11:07 AM – Phillips looks in, asks if we’re ready to start. I say I am, in part because I’m the only one here. He goes to get his stuff to come in.
11:10 AM – Phillips drops his stuff off, asks if everyone else is here. I say that I think so, but I don’t know where they are. He says he’ll poke his head back in in a minute. As a side note, Forro asked me what odds I’d give on A-Rod being here on time…I said they’d have to be greater than 1,000,000:1. He just poked his head in, confirmed that I was the only one here, and headed back out.
11:15 AM – Cano pops in, asks if we’re having this meeting. I say that I am, he follows it up with an “I like it!” Andy Phillips also comes back. We’ve all got our laptops out and are doing what work we can without the others. I think I’m going to get Forro in here and get started. As it stands right now, if we don’t then Smokehouse Friday will be for dinner, not lunch.
11:18 AM – Forro comes in and he’s conducting so I can blog it. We’ve decided to go ahead without everybody else. Matsui and Cabrera have been excused, making it somewhat pointless for this to be a full management meeting, but that’s beside the point. Unfortunately, because we don’t have the local color here, a really good meeting journal may not happen until October. When Forro mentioned A-Rod coming, everyone had a good chuckle
11:31 AM – Finished the financial presentation. There honestly is not much to say here because it’s not dysfunctional because A-Rod isn’t here with us, although I will note that he’s not here and he was the reason that we moved this sucker back. Why in the heck did we move it back if he wasn’t here anyway?
11:47 AM – Derek Jeter arrived, close to the end of the meeting.
11:51 AM – Cano is sitting here arguing with me about something…I don’t know what or why. He’s saying that we have to have these numbers to tell people something we don’t need numbers for. A 3 minute conversation could have been done in 30 seconds if he didn’t want to hear himself
11:54 AM – Part of the problem with Jeter coming in late is that you have to repeat some things. Apparently he got caught by an employee who’s always bringing him problems.
12:15 PM – We’re done with the meeting, a new record (in shortness, even with the wait for it to get started). It’s not a moment too soon, as I have to go to the bathroom! It’s in large part because Matsui and A-Rod didn’t come, which made it much less interesting. I’ll definitely have a follow-up next month.