Monday, October 15, 2007

Upgrade Your Marriage

The story I came across this morning on Fox News is a bit off the wall. At the same time, I can see something like this and it being put forth as a panacea for all that ails you. So that I'm not viewed as a total Big-Brotheresque prude, let me first say that what you want to do is your own business. I don't care who or what you have sex with. In that sense, I would see these robot sexbots as a natural extension of the sex toys industry and it's latest invention, the Serbian knob on a stick.
At the same time, David Levy's idea that human-robot marriages will be legal and performed in 2050 is a bit out there. I suppose that it's possible, but I think before people can go about marrying inanimate objects, there are all kinds of animate objects to marry. I would think that in order for human/robot marriages to happen, polygamy, reverse polygamy (polyandry), human-animal marriage, and probably some other stuff would have to happen first. The big question for me here is why? What's the point of it? I suppose you might want to get your robot's tune-ups on your health plan, but other than that it just seems silly. I wouldn't be surprised for people to say they fall in love with their robots because as Levy says, you can program that sucker to be the perfect companion. You want to sit around and have it wait on you? It'll do that. You want it to sit around while you wait on it? It'll do that too. There's really nothing that a robot can't do...except love you back. Isn't that really part of the equation? I don't care how good looking a robot is or how perfect it is. Part of marriage and part of love is that you have two flawed people, each with different thoughts and feelings putting those aside and working together on a relationship. If it was just one-sided, what kind of relationship would it be? Sure, that robot could look like a circa 1999 Britney Spears or George Clooney and it would look like that, unchanging, forever. You'd always have arm candy for your parties or whatever, but the problem with having a Clooneybot and going to a party is that you're going to be made fun of for the rest of your life. Beyond that, no matter how good looking it is and how "loving" it is, it wouldn't love you. You'd be just as empty as before, except perhaps moreso because your Britneybot set you back $100,000. You'd have wild crazy relations and you'd be at least as sad and depressed as before.
Again, I don't care if people choose to have sex with these things. I just don't see the point of marriage because there's no relationship there. It's like marrying my Dimension XPS 410, only in woman form. It can update my blog, check my email, and surf the web, but it cares just as much about me as the pen on my desk.
(Feel free to insert your own "What if this runs on Windows/Blue Screen of Death joke here.)

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