Tuesday, January 24, 2006

A Sad End for Mr. Miyagi

For all those who didn't know, Mr Miyagi has caught his last fly. Daniel-san will have to train with Cobra kai now because Pat Morita died a month or so ago. Then, on top of that news, I got an e-mail from Deseret Book on the latest in what I consider a very undistinguished group of Mormon Cinema films, i.e. movies that are made for a very niche market and have no playability outside of Utah and parts of Arizona, Idaho, and California.

That's not what's disturbing. (I would consider The Home Teachers far more disturbing) What was disturbing was the stars of the film. Credited at the top are Pat Morita, and Lauren Holly. These are real actors! This isn't a humorous cameo from Steve Young or Gordon Jump. This isn't even a starring role by resident Utah curmudgeon Wilford Brimley. This is an actual actor and an actual actress lowering themselves to the cinematic equivalent of a Cinemax soft-core porn movie. They are literally selling themselves out for a paycheck.

Pat Morita may have had a good excuse - his death was due to raging alcoholism. Maybe his agent called one day and he was plastered and the conversation was something like this:

Pat's agent: Pat, I have a great opportunity for you. It's a movie about the Pinewood Derby done by a couple of filmmakers who don't know anything about good movies.

Pat: What? Karate Kid V: Daniel's Return?! I'll take it!

Lauren Holly, on the other hand, has no excuse. She was Jim Carrey's wife for a time, she has lots of work, and there are 2.5 million internet sites that say something about her, according to Google. Maybe she was blackmailed, or in a moment of weakness, was nostalgic about filming Dumb & Dumber in Utah, so she decided to go back.

What's next? Val Kilmer playing Joseph Smith in a Richard Dutcher movie?

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