Making An Ass Of Yourself

I put the punchline in the title, so sue me. The latest drug craze in the NY party scene is none other than noted hemorrhoid cream Preparation H. Apparently you rub it all over yourself to get more ripped so the ladies will give you some action. The problem with this approach, of course, is that once the ladies get that shirt off and they smell an 85 year old man's rear end, you won't get the action you're so desperately craving. I think I would choose a different approach, say, going to the gym and eating sensibly.